Break the Damn Rules
I’m done. The shoulds and should nots.
Ever since I was a little kid I’ve had this natural curiosity and urge to push the limits. It stems from a place of wonder, a desire to understand, and wanting to be authentically me. When things didn’t feel right to me, I’d question why does it “have” to be this way. And I’d propose other ideas.
As children we were encouraged to use our imagination, think critically, and that we could be anything we wanted to be. Simultaneously, we were also taught to conform. As time went on, we learned about what it meant to be “normal.” That didn’t sit right with me because I never felt “normal.” When I chose to conform, the consequence was that I felt like I betrayed myself and it impacted my performance.
I remember working at Starbucks and back then, you could only wear black, white or khaki. If you layered your shirt it had to be the same color as the first layer. This made zero sense to me.
At the time, part of my style included always wearing a white tank under everything. And I mean everything. My outfit was not complete without it. I didn’t feel like me.
When I feel like me, I perform better and I show up with more positive energy.
The dilemma is choosing to lose yourself or be yourself.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t be anyone other than me.
Give yourself permission to disrupt what is not working even if it’s how things have always been. That doesn’t mean that this is the way they have to always be.
It comes down to being willing to ask for what you need.
You are important. You deserve to be your best self. If you’re still on the fence with this idea of breaking the damn rules, think about who in your life would benefit if you were more authentically you.
See, it’s not selfish.
The whole idea of breaking the rules is for you to become your youest you and to pursue a life you love. A life that you feel fulfilled by.
I want you to be able to be unapologetically yourself. I want you to be able to pursue your goals and dreams. I want you to be able to ditch the unspoken rules that have told you that you can’t or that you shouldn’t.
This might mean speaking up in relationships, saying no when a friend asks to have plans during your planned workout time, veering off the linear path, starting your own business, going on that trip you’ve wanted to go on, or pursuing that hobby.
It might mean saying, “Sure, I’d be happy to go and then suggest and idea that works for both of you. Or “Sure, I’d love to have plans, I’ve been dying to try this restaurant because I hear that they have a good variety of veggies on the menu.” or “How about we make the reservation a little earlier?” because you value your sleep.
So, this is what I mean by break the damn rules. We fall into these ways of relating with others in our lives, friends, family, colleagues that expectations have been set and the way we relate becomes automated and predictable that we don’t even notice sometimes that it’s no longer working.
Are you ready to challenge what’s not working or serving you?
Ask Yourself These Questions:
- What is not in alignment in my life?
- What rules have cost me my mental, physical, emotional well-being?
- Can I do things differently?
- Who do I need to speak to?
- Who do I need to recruit for support?
- Is this authentically me?
- What boundaries are being crossed?
- Where can I create new boundaries?
- What can I say “no” to so I can say “yes” more to me?
Here are some examples:
- Say “no” to create time to workout
- Ask someone else to go to the grocery store
- Advocate for yourself at work to make time for self-care before, during or after your workday.
- If there is something you’ve always wanted to do, ditch the rules and go do it
- Wear whatever you want that makes you feel like you.
- Put on the damn shorts
- Rock that bathing suit
- Let go of people pleasing
- Throw away the idea that someone else’s opinion of you matters more than your own
Taking a step back and reflecting, gaining awareness around where your boundaries are being crossed, where you’ve allowed someone to dictate where and how you should be spending your time and energy. That is not for them to decide. That’s all on you and you can take that power back and guess what it doesn’t have to be a win-lose. It can be a win-win because when you are your youest you will radiate goodness and people want to be around that energy.
So what are you waiting for?
Check in with yourself and start to break those damn rules.